My husband has been told before by other men that their marriage is different than his. These men have observed us interacting and have come to this conclusion. I too have been ask before why am I so happy with my marriage. I can tell you right now we do not hold the secret to happiness. I think the key to a happy marriage is to be in love with and love the person. Many are in love with the ideal of being in love, but they are not really in love. There is a difference.
Life is not always a bowl of cherries. It is easier to be happy when times are good. The real test is when the going gets tough. If you love someone, then you pull together and work together to meet and over come life's hurdles. When you are unhappy with the other person, the smallest things seen to irritate you. During a trying time it helps to look at the other person's point of view and look at the situation as if you are a third party. I always try to look at life through my husbands eyes.
Another key item to a happy marriage is being intimate. Intimacy is important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world. Most people would define intimacy as a relationship that involves either physical or emotional intimacy. The emotional intimacy is often what couples lack. Emotional intimacy is what many women are seeking. The lack of emotional intimacy is the blueprint for many unhappy marriages. Emotional intimacy boils down to being a trust issue.
Men as a usual rule are not as emotional as women. Historically, men have not been taught to feel emotions. Thus, many men are afraid to feel emotions and do not know what to do with them when they do. They do not call each other up and say, I feel. Females of all ages do this. We vent to other women and men. Men as an usual rule do not have any practice with this emotional exercise. It is not that men do not have thoughts or feelings. They have learned to keep them bottled up inside. Some men are afraid to shows what is on the inside. They think it makes them look weak. This is hard for women to understand. Women share our feelings and thoughts all the time. It is a simple, easy task for women.
I am one of the lucky ones and I did not realize it. My husband and I share thoughts, hopes, and feelings. I have never had to wonder what he is thinking or feeling. It is uncanny at times we can finish each others sentences. There are times we can just look at one another and know what the other one thinks about something.
The secret to getting a man to open up with you and share his thoughts, feelings, fears, and concerns is not as hard as you might think. Men need to be able to feel comfortable so they can be themselves and share what they think and feel! So if you want a man to open up to you, he has to feel safe taking that risk with you. You have to accept him, as he is. You can not try to change him. When he shares his thoughts or feelings, you do not want to judge or correct them. Sharing thoughts and feelings is foreign to many men.
Another important key to a happy marriage is always be willing to apologize. A good rule of thumb is not to go to bed being angry with your spouse. Pride and being stubborn are two roadblocks to a happy marriage. It helps if you accept marital spats as an opportunity to resolve problems. It is okay to disagree. The key is learning how to work together to come up with a solution. It is a mistake to avoid conflict. Be honest and loving with your mate, share how you feel. Pray a lot!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
How I Deal With Change
Our lives are filled with unexpected surprises. We can not shelter or protect ourselves
from change. The best way to cope with change is to begin by accept
the reality of the inevitability of change. I personally like my life the way it is. I say I do not like change but I seem to deal with it in a positive manner.
The question is why do I and others dislike change? This is a good question which requires some soul searching. It has to be fear, fear of the unknown.
I see individuals that like change. They are always wanting to change something. They change their hair style, hair color, move furniture in their home, trade cars and the list goes on and on.. These people welcome change.
The individuals that dread change get anxious and stressed when faced with change. This can cause health problems. Life is always changing. We have to learn to live with this fact.
How do we learn to live with change? A positive attitude helps me deal with change. I try to accept change as an opportunity to grow. Since I am an optimist, I expect a positive outcome. I anticipate everything is going to turn out for the better.You never know what opportunity God has waiting for you around the corner.
The question is why do I and others dislike change? This is a good question which requires some soul searching. It has to be fear, fear of the unknown.
I see individuals that like change. They are always wanting to change something. They change their hair style, hair color, move furniture in their home, trade cars and the list goes on and on.. These people welcome change.
The individuals that dread change get anxious and stressed when faced with change. This can cause health problems. Life is always changing. We have to learn to live with this fact.
How do we learn to live with change? A positive attitude helps me deal with change. I try to accept change as an opportunity to grow. Since I am an optimist, I expect a positive outcome. I anticipate everything is going to turn out for the better.You never know what opportunity God has waiting for you around the corner.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
How To Be Happy!
I see many unhappy individuals that think money or material possessions will make them happy. They are constantly trying to fill the void in their life by consuming alcohol, food, or shopping. The problem is happiness
can not be consumed, it comes from within your soul. They are satisfying desires which only
brings fleeting happiness.
Happiness can not be achieved with money. Money may increase your comfort level in life, but comfort is not what makes people happy.
I have often been told I am a happy person. I guess it shows in our everyday life if we are happy. I have also been ask how can they find happiness? First and foremost it starts with your relationship with God. It is important to get the right amount of sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. I think a grateful attitude is a must to being happy.
The other characteristic I think it takes to be happy is compassion. I have noticed people that lack compassion for others are always grumbling and complaining about something in life. When you give to others, it gives you a good feeling. I suggest you stop worrying and thinking about yourself and do something for others without resenting the act of kindness. I suggest volunteer at a school, nursing home, hospital, or church group. Set a goal everyday of finding and helping someone that needs food, clothing, or shelter. You do this and I promise you will be happy. When you are compassionate and help others, you get a wonderful feeling which is called happiness. I think when we are compassionate we are exhibiting a Christ like characteristic. I think this is what makes us happy.
Happiness can not be achieved with money. Money may increase your comfort level in life, but comfort is not what makes people happy.
I have often been told I am a happy person. I guess it shows in our everyday life if we are happy. I have also been ask how can they find happiness? First and foremost it starts with your relationship with God. It is important to get the right amount of sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. I think a grateful attitude is a must to being happy.
The other characteristic I think it takes to be happy is compassion. I have noticed people that lack compassion for others are always grumbling and complaining about something in life. When you give to others, it gives you a good feeling. I suggest you stop worrying and thinking about yourself and do something for others without resenting the act of kindness. I suggest volunteer at a school, nursing home, hospital, or church group. Set a goal everyday of finding and helping someone that needs food, clothing, or shelter. You do this and I promise you will be happy. When you are compassionate and help others, you get a wonderful feeling which is called happiness. I think when we are compassionate we are exhibiting a Christ like characteristic. I think this is what makes us happy.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Are You Led By Holy Spirit?
I hear numerous people doubt and dispute that God, Our Father speaks to us. God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit. So many people have different ideas about the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity, co-equal with God the Father and God the Son. The Holy Spirit abides with each Christian. As Christians, we all need divine guidance and we get it from the Holy Spirit.
I look to the Word of God to find examples of the Holy Spirit leading men of God. Paul for example, refers to believers as “led by the Spirit” in Romans 8:14.
In Matthews 3:11, John the Baptist prepares the way.
Matthew 3:11 NIV
11 “I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.
John 14:16 (KJV)
If you do not feel like you are being lead by the Holy Spirit then you need to be in prayer. How hard would it be to lead someone with whom you were not communicating? The same is true for the Holy Spirit. How can the Holy Spirit lead us if he can not communicate with us?
We have to learned to walk by the Spirit as Paul did in Galatians 5:16-25.
Galatians 5:16-25 (NIV)
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions
21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit
I look to the Word of God to find examples of the Holy Spirit leading men of God. Paul for example, refers to believers as “led by the Spirit” in Romans 8:14.
In Matthews 3:11, John the Baptist prepares the way.
Matthew 3:11 NIV 11 “I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.
John 14:16 (KJV)
16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
John 16:7 (KJV)
John 16:7 (KJV)
7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.
If you do not feel like you are being lead by the Holy Spirit then you need to be in prayer. How hard would it be to lead someone with whom you were not communicating? The same is true for the Holy Spirit. How can the Holy Spirit lead us if he can not communicate with us?
We have to learned to walk by the Spirit as Paul did in Galatians 5:16-25.
Galatians 5:16-25 (NIV)
17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions
21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit
How do we get the Holy Spirit leading our lives so we can walk in the Spirit? We have to
obey His promptings. The only way I know is by being aware of the Holy Spirit’s presence with you, and following His lead. We have to submit to the Holy Spirit even when we feel Him leading us in a direction maybe we do not understand. We need to listen and summit when the Holy Spirit leads us to take action do so immediately.
It is like a six sense the Spirit will warning you about danger, a temptation to sin that we may be unable to resist unless we obey Him without thinking. We have all learned this the hard way. We as Christians have all made terrible mistakes in our lives by not listening to the Holy Spirit. These mistakes tend to be a sin of some sort, or just not God's plan for our lives.
It is like a six sense the Spirit will warning you about danger, a temptation to sin that we may be unable to resist unless we obey Him without thinking. We have all learned this the hard way. We as Christians have all made terrible mistakes in our lives by not listening to the Holy Spirit. These mistakes tend to be a sin of some sort, or just not God's plan for our lives.
I met no strangers! God has given me the knack to be friendly with total strangers in a non threaten way. HE has also kept me safe from the possessed ones. I have often come across people really needing a friend. I always use this as a plug for Jesus. You should try this the next time you see someone down and out. The Spirit will give you the right words to encourage the person. HE always does me. The Holy Spirit wants to minister to that person. It is good to be the vehicle through which the Holy Spirit can work.
I like order and peace. I want everything to be in its proper place. It rarely is as I get older. The hardest lesson I had to learn was to let the Holy Spirit guide me in a direction I had not planned. I learned a long time ago the wisest thing to do was to submit to the Holy Spirit. As I grew and matured as a Christian, I realized God knows all things, past and the future. God's plan for my life is always for my benefit. God loves me and wants only the best for me.
My advice is to learn to listen to that still voice in your life and follow the Holy Spirit. Your life will be enriched beyond your imagination when you follow God's purpose for your life. I know my life has been.
I like order and peace. I want everything to be in its proper place. It rarely is as I get older. The hardest lesson I had to learn was to let the Holy Spirit guide me in a direction I had not planned. I learned a long time ago the wisest thing to do was to submit to the Holy Spirit. As I grew and matured as a Christian, I realized God knows all things, past and the future. God's plan for my life is always for my benefit. God loves me and wants only the best for me.
My advice is to learn to listen to that still voice in your life and follow the Holy Spirit. Your life will be enriched beyond your imagination when you follow God's purpose for your life. I know my life has been.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Life is Temporary and So are Troubles.
Life on this earth is temporary and so are troubles. It would be prudent to choose which how you want to focus your time and energy. I try to cherish each day I am alive. I try to focus on what is important. So many focus on their troubles instead of the joys of life. When I look to the scripture, it makes it clear we are not to worry about our needs. HE ask us, "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matt. 6:27
Matthew 6:26-33 (NIV)
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
May I suggest when you have an issue or problem, you are dealing with spend even more time reading God's Word and more time praying. Just remember, "This too shall pass!"
Matthew 6:26-33 (NIV)27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
May I suggest when you have an issue or problem, you are dealing with spend even more time reading God's Word and more time praying. Just remember, "This too shall pass!"
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Eyes Wide Open
This phrase "Eyes Wide Open," keeps going through my mind the past couple of weeks. I realized Tuesday the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. The Holy Spirit is sharing a Word of Wisdom with me.
We learn from the Bible there will be times that a word of knowledge will not be enough to solve a problem. This is where we need a word of wisdom. A word of wisdom will give us the ability to be able to apply the knowledge that we already have on a particular issue.
I know from the medical knowledge my Mama is in a serious situation. She has Congestive Heart Failure, (CHF), Coronary Artery Disease, (CAD) diabetes, and edema which in her case is caused by heart failure.
She had been improving and doing great. The phrase "eyes wide open" kept going through my mind. I finally realized what the Holy Sprite was trying to prepare me to be realistic she is in heart failure. Her heart can not pump enough blood to meet her body's needs. Her heart's weaken pumping ability causes the buildup of fluid (edema) in the legs, ankles, and feet. She has also had a problem with a build up of fluid in the lungs. She has experienced extreme tiredness and shortness of breath.
I need to be realistic instead of optimist. I need to keep in mind the prognosis is not good. I need to keep my eyes wide open and see the real world instead of what I want the world to be.
We learn from the Bible there will be times that a word of knowledge will not be enough to solve a problem. This is where we need a word of wisdom. A word of wisdom will give us the ability to be able to apply the knowledge that we already have on a particular issue.
I know from the medical knowledge my Mama is in a serious situation. She has Congestive Heart Failure, (CHF), Coronary Artery Disease, (CAD) diabetes, and edema which in her case is caused by heart failure.
She had been improving and doing great. The phrase "eyes wide open" kept going through my mind. I finally realized what the Holy Sprite was trying to prepare me to be realistic she is in heart failure. Her heart can not pump enough blood to meet her body's needs. Her heart's weaken pumping ability causes the buildup of fluid (edema) in the legs, ankles, and feet. She has also had a problem with a build up of fluid in the lungs. She has experienced extreme tiredness and shortness of breath.
I need to be realistic instead of optimist. I need to keep in mind the prognosis is not good. I need to keep my eyes wide open and see the real world instead of what I want the world to be.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
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